Many of us carry guilt, for things we’ve done, things we didn’t do, or things we wish we’d done differently. Guilt can feel like an anchor, quietly holding us back from moving forward or truly letting go.
In the healing process, it’s not about perfection, it’s about understanding, forgiveness and growth. At The Bardo, we help individuals rebuild a sense of self that exists beyond past actions or pain, so they can move forward with confidence and freedom. And that begins with developing a deeper understanding of guilt and shame.
Guilt is feeling bad about something you did, a recognition that your actions may have hurt yourself or someone else, and a natural emotional response that can motivate you to make changes or do better next time.
Shame, on the other hand, is believing you are bad because of it. It’s thinking that your mistakes define who you are. While guilt can motivate change, shame can keep people stuck in self-blame. Recognising the difference is the first step toward self-compassion and healing.
Both these feelings are part of being human and can show up during healing and recovery. If they become chronic, individuals can become trapped in self-blame and disconnection instead of making progress. These emotions can be especially prevalent for people recovering from addiction, loss or behavioural struggles.
How guilt and shame hold people back
With guilt and shame come a range of psychological and physical effects, including isolation, avoidance, negative self-talk, and even relapse. While guilt can motivate change, it can also cause paralysis – stopping people from taking positive steps forward. True healing begins when you really acknowledge what’s happened without it defining who you are.
Steps to letting go of shame
Name what you feel: Awareness is the first step in letting go. Mindfulness activities such as journaling, and therapy can help you to separate facts from feelings.
Challenge the inner critic: Negative self-talk can be a huge problem during the healing process. Replacing talk like “I’m a failure” with “I’m learning to do better” can shift your mindset from shame to growth, helping you build resilience and recognise your progress without fixating on your mistakes.
Repair and reconnect: By healing relationships or setting boundaries, you can rebuild trust, both with yourself and other people within your life.
Developing purpose: Recovery isn’t about erasing the past, but transforming it into purpose and having empathy for your experiences. At The Bardo, we’ve created a safe environment where individuals can do this through therapy, support and self-exploration.
Self-forgiveness: Forgiveness is something that needs to be practiced continuously, through mindfulness and acceptance-based therapies.
Professional support at The Bardo
You don’t have to travel this path alone. We can help you unpack guilt and shame safely, with therapists and health professionals who won’t just address the behaviour, but the emotions, relationships and perceptions underneath.
Letting go of shame and grief isn’t about forgetting, it’s about freeing yourself so you can grow. Self-criticism needs to be replaced with self-compassion – and we can help you do it. If you’re ready to move beyond shame and guilt, let’s chat so we can give you the understanding, care and evidence-based support you need to heal. Contact us today!
